


you're the truest thing in this town

by joshuamericano



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: College AU, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Language, Self-Insert, childhood buddies au, leaving Shakespeare jobless w this legendary tale of Tru Love, yoo taeyang - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 21:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19934896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshuamericano/pseuds/joshuamericano
Summary: You've known Taeyang for as long as you can remember, and you're both about to leave town and attend separate colleges. You can't help but catch feelings for him, but how do you make it work out?(or, a brief taeyang/reader one-shot, inspired by "nothing more than that" by the paper kites)





	you're the truest thing in this town

**Author's Note:**

> i played the bias game with my friend Max (voguelight on twt) and, despite stubbornly insisting that i'd win, i lost in the most ridiculous way possible. my penalty is publishing this high-quality piece of literature for all the internet to see, because I love and adore yoo taeyang. enjoy this cheesy fluffy trash/piece of my heart and soul!

_ you’re the truest thing in this town _

The sky is blue and cloudless on the day you see Taeyang, just a few weeks before you leave for college. You’re at the neighborhood park, surprisingly lacking in children playing on the old slides and swing set. Taeyang wanted to lie down in the grass, directly facing the bright August sunshine, but you insisted on sitting beneath a large, shaded oak tree. He just sat right next to you, leaning back and supporting his body with his arms. 

“Time flies, doesn’t it, Y/N?” Taeyang says. “It feels like just yesterday, I watched you eat dirt when you tried to swing as high as you could on that swing set.”

Much to your chagrin, you remember that day too. You weren’t badly injured, but you could see a mischievous young Taeyang laughing at you from a distance as your mom ran to check if you were okay. “Yeah.” You say. “Time really, uh, flies.” 

Taeyang giggles. “I see what you did there.”

“You did it first, nerd.” 

You’d known Taeyang for...how long? Since second grade? It might have been even earlier than that. You attended different schools, but you could always rely on seeing him at the park or some neighborhood cookout, running around and trying to cause a ruckus with the other kids. He’s since mellowed from the rowdy, hyper kid that he used to him, but he still preserved an energetic boyish charm to him. 

Maybe it was the anticipation of leaving home soon, but this past summer, you’d begun to see him  _ differently _ . Sometimes you’d notice mid-conversation just how stunning he looked, so casually beautiful in a way that hadn’t been visible to you before. You had never taken note of the graceful curve of his shoulders, the glimmer of joy in his deep brown eyes, or the radiance in his smile until recently. 

It drove you nuts. 

“So. College.” Taeyang says.

“It’s pretty close now.” You reply.

“Are you looking forward to it?” 

“Yeah.” You say. “I’ll miss home, but right now, I’m itching to get out of here. I’m ready for a change. Ready to be in a new environment and meet new people. Stuff like that.”

“A change?” He says. “You make it sound like you’re gonna come back with your hair dyed and a bunch of tattoos and piercings.” 

“I might.” You say with a coy grin. “Who’s to say I won’t come back an entirely different person? That happens to people at college sometimes.” 

“Nah, you wouldn’t change  _ that  _ much.” He playfully hits your arm. “I wouldn’t, anyways. I know it’s the beginning of adulthood and all, but I have a feeling I’ll be pretty much the same by the time I’m done with college.”

“You think you’ll stay the same for four years?” You stretch your legs out on the cool grass, crossing one leg over the other. “Taeyang, I don’t think  _ anyone  _ stays the same for four years.”

“I’m sure people do.” He says. “After thirty, four years feels like nothing.”

“I guess so.” You say. “But would you really want everything to stay the same? Wouldn’t that get boring after a while.”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I’ve lived here since forever, and it has yet to bore me.” Taeyang lies down and sprawls out in the grass, taking a deep breath in and out. You notice his chest rising and falling, and you very much wish you hadn’t. Your insides flutter at the sight of him relaxed, peaceful,  _ beautiful  _ on this summer day. 

You know you’ll miss him while you’re at college; he’s been your constant companion for so long, it’s difficult to imagine what life would be like without him by your side. However, some part of you hopes that, with you and him going to separate colleges, the time away from home will make this crush fizzle and give you a moment’s rest. You’re looking forward to recalling this infatuation, laughing about the time you liked this childhood friend for a couple months, and brushing it aside. 

**

When Taeyang returns home from college, you realize your crush on him has anything  _ but  _ fizzled. Despite his summer declaration on remaining the same, he looks so different from how he was before. His haircut is a little more polished and styled, he got two piercings in his left ear, and all of his outfits look like he’d put far more consideration into them. His personality and charm hasn’t changed much, but he seems older and even more mellow than before. He grew up a little while he was at college. And, as a result, you’re absolutely suffering. 

You think you still have a chance of snuffing out your feelings for him until you show up for the Christmas party at his place. Your family isn’t big on holiday festivities, but you could always on Taeyang’s family to go all-out—colorful decorations, Christmas music on constant rotation, and a glowing, inflatable snowman they named Frosty that sits in their driveway every December. Frosty has never failed to creep you out a little every time you pass it. 

Taeyang greets you at the door, wearing a huge white cardigan that looks so cozy, it makes you think about how it’d feel to snuggle him at least once. You try to shake the thought from your mind. 

“Y/N!” Taeyang smiles wide and leans in for a hug. His embrace feels so warm and familiar. “Come on in. You’re just in time.” 

The party is mostly neighborhood friends and their parents that you haven’t seen in a long time. Some of them approach you, asking a ton of questions about how college is going, and what you wanna do with the rest of your life. They’re stressing you the hell out. You go sit in the living room, where things are a little quieter and you can take a breather. 

Taeyang’s sitting at the far corner of the couch, in front of a crackling fireplace, his lower body wrapped in a red flannel blanket. “Y/N,” he says, flipping a corner of the blanket out of the way. “We should catch up. It feels like it’s been forever since we last talked.”

You go and sit next to him, wondering how close of a distance you should sit without taking up too much of his personal space. He offers you some of his blanket, so you lay the remainder of it over your lap. You notice the cup of hot cocoa in his hand and the pile of mini marshmallows on top of it.

“Oh my God, Taeyang.” You say, laughing. “You’re gonna give yourself a sugar coma if you drink that.” 

“I know.” He grins, taking a generous sip of his drink. “What’s Christmas without one, right?”

The two of you mostly talk about college, your courses, your teachers and classmates, what the cafeteria food is like. He talks enthusiastically about all the people he’s meeting through the dance program at his college. The way he lights up while he talks about the things he loves gives you that familiar fluttering feeling in your chest. You keep wishing it away as he keeps talking. 

“To be honest, the only thing I don’t enjoy is everyone asking me what I’m gonna do with my life.” He says. “I mean, dancing is great, but I don’t exactly  _ know _ what career I want or anything like that.” 

“I get that.” You say. “Having people expect a five-year plan of your life when they ask about it is a lot to handle.” 

“It sure is.” He says. “The future itself is so damn stressful to think about, honestly.” 

“Do you think that’s why you kept talking about why you weren’t gonna change in college?” You ask.

“I guess so.” He says, looking pensive. “But look at me now. I really did change, didn’t I?” 

“It’s not a bad thing.” You tell him. “Change can be good.”

“You, however,” Taeyang points his finger at you, “did  _ not  _ get any tattoos or piercings while you were gone. You didn’t dye your hair, either. I’m honestly a little disappointed. I expected a lot more.” 

“I know.” You say, shaking your head. “Maybe I’ll get around to that before summer break.” 

Come to think of it, you realize, in contrast to all of Taeyang’s change, you yourself didn’t change much at all. You wore the same clothes, still tied your hair into a careless ponytail most of the time, and not only that, but you hadn’t even  _ thought  _ about getting tattoos, piercings, or your hair dyed. 

And that damn crush on Taeyang. That hasn’t changed, either. It still prevails, with no signs of fading anytime soon.

**

You don’t hear from Taeyang again until a whole month after the beginning of summer break. He spams you with a series of texts, apologizing for not talking to you in so long, and how he wants to visit your place and watch movies with you some time. You take him up on the offer, finding a free night in your schedule to see him. You still don’t have the courage to confess to him, despite how your feelings for him have only intensified during the spring semester. More often, you’ve found yourself daydreaming about him, wishing he’d realize you were meant for each other, confessing his devotion to you and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You indulged in those daydreams, but it embarrassed you how frequently you had them. 

On the night he comes over, it takes you far longer than you’re willing to admit to get ready. Should you dress nice? Is that too much? Would dressing too casual look sloppy? Should you wear any makeup at all? Maybe a little bit of makeup, at least? Did you eyeliner look too heavy? Most importantly, why the hell did you care so much? 

Taeyang shows up ten minutes earlier than you two had planned—he’s shown up to everything early since he could drive, and it was something of a running joke when he first got his license. You greet him at the door, doing your best to not combust on the spot as he approaches. He’s wearing a dark graphic tee, black jeans, and his hair is so neat and styled you wish you could mess it up a little with your fingers.

“Did you already pick out a movie?” He asks. “Or are we gonna spend two hours looking for something to watch?” 

“I have a few ideas.” You tell him. “But we should make some popcorn first.” 

You had prepared for this night by buying a ton of microwavable popcorn bags and a six-pack of those glass Coca-Cola bottles. The two of you get talking while waiting for the popcorn to be done, reminiscing about past childhood memories, laughing at the way you two used to act as kids.

Taeyang avoids the topic of college this time than last time. When the subject comes up, unavoidable for you both, he finally says, “My parents don’t see the point in me taking up dance. They think I should switch majors, do something that’ll help me make more money when I’m out of college. And I get that. But is that what I really want to do? Just pursue something I hate so that I don’t go broke?” 

You’re not entirely sure how to respond. You merely nod in understanding, while distracted by your desperation for him on the inside. You wish more than every that the feeling could go away, but that desire burns in you hotter than ever. 

“I don’t know.” He says. “I wish I could just figure it out. I wish I could know what my future was like so I wouldn’t have to worry about all this shit now.” 

“You don’t have to have it all figured out now.” You say. “It’s okay to be uncertain. It’s tough.”

“Thanks.” He says. “It means a lot to hear that from you.” 

In a moment of silence, you lock eyes with him. You’ve never seen his gaze so intense, his soft brown eyes as dark and sharp as they are now. Your face grows hot, and your heart pounds in your chest like a hammer against a wooden board. 

Taeyang reaches his hand towards you, tucking a stray tendril of hair behind your ear. He cups your face with his hand and leans towards you, his gaze softened, his lips so  _ inviting _ . 

You lean in to kiss his lips in a moment of unrestrained, stupid courage, every pent-up emotion towards him finally spilling over the surface. He kisses you back, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. Soon you’re entranced by the passionate movement of his lips against yours, the both of you breathing heavy, your kisses so slow and careful, almost hesitant in a way, like neither of you will give up your whole self for the other just yet. 

Taeyang breaks away from your lips and plants kisses on your cheeks, along your jaw, down your neck. You lean your head back and close your eyes, relishing in every sensation you’re feeling. Your body feels like it’s on fire. Taeyang pulls slightly at the collar of your shirt to kiss the center of your collarbone, his lips wet and rough against your skin.

“Is there something you’ve been meaning to tell me?” You say. 

“Yeah…” He pants, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him. Your moment ends abruptly when you hear a timer in the kitchen go off. All the hot and heavy thoughts in your head are interrupted by the realization that you forgot something. 

“Oh!” You shout. “Popcorn’s ready!” Taeyang pulls away, letting you get up and check to make sure that you didn’t just burn the popcorn for tonight. You transfer all of it to bowls and prepare to watch some Oscar-nominated drama that you both had been meaning to watch for a while. 

Going from making out with Taeyang to sitting a comfortable distance away from him as you watch the movie feels jarring. Did Taeyang really feel that way about you? And if he did, how long had he been keeping that under wraps? Every time you want to say something to him, you stop yourself. He glances back at you here and there during the movie, looking at you like the cogs in his head are turning but the words won’t leave his mouth. 

When the movie ends, neither you nor Taeyang know how to act properly. The both of you feel awkward and stiff as you wash your popcorn balls in the sink, throw your trash away, quickly tidy the living room before Taeyang leaves. 

“So.” Taeyang stands at the door, looking at you in a way that brings back that familiar, fluttering feeling in you. “I’ll see you again sometime?”

“Yeah.” You’re tempted to say more. Should you ask about earlier? Pretend it never happened? “I’ll see you.”

“Alright. Bye.” He pivots on his heel and walks away, making his way to his car. You close the front door, and you can’t help but watch him through the window until he drives out of your driveway. Your stomach is in knots, and your thoughts are running at a rapid pace. You pick up your phone, tempted to call or text him for some kind of closure. 

But should you? You can’t decide. You keep staring at your phone screen, your fingers restless to dial his number. But you can’t bring yourself to do it. 

  
  


**

You don’t hear from Taeyang for weeks after that night. You see each other every so often around town, at the post office or the grocery store while you’re running errands. He might notice you, or you might notice him, and the most you’ve done is grin and wave to him. Something keeps you two distant, unable to stand less than two feet away from the other. There’s no warmth or familiarity to seeing him anymore, and it’s killing you. 

The distance growing between you and him constantly stings at you, like a thorn at your side. It keeps you from sleeping consistently, clouds your brain while you try to think about college, family, the future. You wish you could open your window and scream out everything you feel to the dark, empty night sky. You want Taeyang in your future, even if he can’t be there forever. Did you just blow your chance to have that? 

After some time passes, you find yourself spending more time with your family and thinking about college in the fall again. Life without Taeyang feels painfully quiet, but you become used to the silence, the absence. It’s somewhere in the midst of this preoccupation that you receive an unexpected call on a Wednesday night. 

It’s a shock to see his name pop up on your screen. Do you want to pick it up? You dumbass, you think, of  _ course  _ you should pick it up. You answer the phone after it rings a few times.

“Hello?” Taeyang’s voice crackles through the receiver. 

“Hey.” You say. 

“Who is this?” 

“Uh...Y/N?”

“Oh, dammit.” He says. “Don’t take this personally, but I was trying to call my school about work study for next semester, and I think I dialed the wrong number.”

“Oh.” Your heart sinks a little. You sigh, trying to recompose yourself. “Okay. Don’t let me bother y—”

“No, it’s okay.” He interrupts you. “I wouldn’t mind talking to you, actually. I feel like it’s been a long time since last saw each other.” 

“Yeah.” You say. “It really has.” You’re starting to understand Taeyang’s fear of uncertainty. The complete lack of confidence you have in the next five minutes not being an awkward mess makes you want to explode. “How have things been lately?” 

“Not great, to be honest.” Taeyang says. “I kind of underestimated how much time I have before college starts up again, and I’m stressed the hell out about it.” 

“Is that why you fell off the face of the earth for a while?” You ask. 

“That’s part of it, yeah.” He says. “But I miss you. I miss having you around. And I wanna see you again.” 

_ I wanna see you again _ . His words ring in your head like a line to the most beautiful song. “I wanna see you too.” You say. “I don’t know how busy you are, but…”

“I’m actually free tonight.” He says. “I’d been thinking about visiting the overlook on the edge of town, if you wanna come with me.”

_ Tonight? _ That’s so soon. And yet, you want to see him so badly. You want to clear the air, once and for all. You tell him tonight sounds good and arrange the time he’ll show up, fully knowing he’s going to pull up to your driveway early. You have very little time, if any, to make yourself look any nicer than the worn sweatshirt and denim shorts you have on now, but you decide to leave your hair down, just to Shake Things Up. 

Taeyang comes to pick you up as the sun is starting to set. When you get into the passenger’s seat, you see him with a whole handful of trash, trying to shoving it all into an empty grocery bag. 

“Taeyang, what are you doing?” You say, giggling a little. 

“Sorry, I just—” He collects more trash in his hand, “—I kind of forgot to clean out the car before I left.” He ties up the bag and tosses it in the backseat. “I would have done it earlier, but I didn’t wanna be late for tonight. I hope you don’t mind.” Taeyang grins at you, all his boyish charm still intact. You remember just how much you adore him. And how much that hurts.

“I don’t mind.” You say. “Better late than never, right?” 

“Of course.” He says. That’s the most you say to each other on the way to the overlook. As nice as it is to see him again, having him by your side, you feel stiff and restrained. The tension in the air is so thick, you could slice right through it. 

Taeyang stops his car at the overlook, the hilltop on the edge of town where you can see all the buildings and trees, with a perfect view of the sun setting on the horizon. It’s such a beautiful view, so  _ ideal _ . Yet you struggle to enjoy it. Not when you have unfinished business with your childhood best friend. The two of you sit in silence for a long while, saying nothing, having no clue where your eyes should look or your hands should go. 

“Y/N.” Taeyang speaks up. “We’re adults now.” 

“Adults would be a very generous term for us.” You say. “We’re just barely adults.” 

“Still.” He says. “We’re old enough to, like, know better. And I’m old enough that I should’ve been more honest with you from the start.” 

“Okay.” You swallow hard. “The start of what?” 

Taeyang looks at you, his gaze so tender and vulnerable that he takes your breath away. He holds out his hand, palm facing upward. You slide your hand into his and squeeze it lightly. His hand is rough, but warm, and he rubs circles into the back of your hand with his thumb. Somehow, this moment feels more intimate than when you made out with him at your house. 

“Y/N, I like you.” He says, his voice so small and gentle. “A lot. I’ve liked you for so long now, but I never knew how to tell you.” 

“How long has it been?” You ask him. 

“Since summer of last year. Before we left for college.” 

You feel your heart drop to your stomach in shock. Really?  _ This whole time?  _ And you were so oblivious to it? 

“You too?” You say, almost in a whisper.

“Wh-wait.” Taeyang furrows his brows. “Do you mean—”

“Taeyang.” You squeeze his hand a little harder. “This whole time, I’ve been agonizing over how to interact with you because I started to really like you around last year. But I didn’t wanna make things weird for us because we’ve known each other since, like,  _ forever _ . And if you didn’t feel the same way, or dating just didn’t work out for us…” You purse your lips for a moment, trying so hard to not let your emotions overwhelm you. “I didn’t wanna lose you. Not after having you around for so long.” 

“Well.” He pauses for a long while, a puff of air passing through his lips. “I’m still here. And I’m not going to leave your life anytime soon.” His hand travels up your arm, soothingly caressing your forearm. “I’m not exactly the best with words. Especially not right now. Can I show you how much you mean to me, Y/N?” 

“Yes, please.” You say. “Show me.” 

Taeyang moves his hand even farther up your arm, resting between your shoulder and your neck, and presses his forehead to yours before he kisses you. You let him kiss you first, wanting to feel all the love and affection he kept hidden for so long pour into you. All of the fear of losing him, never seeing him again, finally leaves you, and you feel like you’re floating on air, your lips moving to a rhythm like a melody that only you and Taeyang know. His hands start to travel everywhere, gliding over your neck, your arms, your sides, your waist. You desire more of him, hunger for more, but you hadn’t planned on getting this far with him and have no idea what to do next. 

Your hand finds a place on the back of his neck, rubbing his nape as you make out with him. His skin feels soft like a flower petal under your touch, and a quiet hum escapes his lips into yours when you touch him. He smiles against your lips, giggling a little, and you can’t help but peck the corners of his mouth. How dare he be so damn adorable.

“Y/N?” He says. 

“Yeah?” You plant a few kisses on his jaw before looking at him, still catching your breath. 

“I’m a dumbass, aren’t I?” He says, grinning like a huge dork. “I could have confessed to you earlier, and we could have been doing this for way longer.” 

“True.” You say. “But you’re  _ my  _ dumbass. That’s all that matters to me now.” And you move in to kiss him again, and again, and again. 

** 

Fragments of morning sunlight peek through the blinds, making small, blurry shapes on your bedroom floor. You stayed up until three in the morning with Taeyang the night before, talking about your deepest feelings and fears, discussing which conspiracy theories are the most valid, exploring each other’s bodies with your hands and lips. Both of you wanted to spend at least one night together before summer ends and you have to return to college. You wake up, the heaviness of your sleep deprivation weighing on you, and you can see slivers of the cloudless blue sky through your window.

Beside you, Taeyang is definitely still asleep, his body occupying over half of your bed. You can’t help but steal a glance at him, his face relaxed and calm, his dark hair all messy, his chest rising and falling with his breath. He made the mistake of forgetting to bring PJs to your house, so he ended up borrowing one of your oversized shirts to sleep in instead. You still don’t know if you’ll ask for it back or let him keep it for as long as he wants. 

You pull the blanket closer to your body and wrap it around you, making yourself as cozy as possible. Your body is buzzing with warmth, remembering where Taeyang kissed you all over your stomach and thighs last night, remembering the feeling of his body against yours. Reminiscing about last night feels like recalling a dream, where everything feels airy and light and otherworldly. 

Behind you, you feel Taeyang shift his position, wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing the crook of your neck. You move your hand to his and intertwine your fingers together, squeezing each others’ hands tight. 

“Good morning.” You whisper to him, smiling softly.

“Good morning.” He mumbles, his words barely eligible. 

“You don’t sound like you’re awake yet.” 

“No.” He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. “Not yet. I will be in a minute, though.” 

“Take your time.” You say. “There’s no need to rush today.” 

Truthfully, you wish he could stay here forever, surrounded by his embrace with no worry or fear afflicting you. If you could, you would capture this moment, store it away, save it for when life gets rough and messy and sad and you don’t think you could take any more. But time has no patience for you nor Taeyang.

Still, you try to savor every bit of this morning, holding hands, kissing each other’s collarbones, resting your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. He gradually becomes more alert, but keeps stumbling over his words when he talks and laughing at his own sleep deprivation. His laugh is melodic and even, like music notes, so pleasant to your ears. 

“So.” He says, looking at you with mischief in his eyes. “Can I keep the shirt? This is, like, really comfortable.” 

You can’t help but laugh at him and what an absolute dork he is. “Sure you can. You can take it with you to college, and you’ll remember me every time you see it.” 

“Oh, God.” He squeezes his eyes shut and now he’s laughing too. “Y/N, that’s so cheesy.” 

“I know it is.” You smile wide. 

“It’s fine.” He says, trying to hold back his giddiness. “Thanks. I’m looking forward to never giving this back to you.”

“Taeyang!”

“Pleeeease, it’s so  _ soft _ .” 

You two eventually wake up and get out of bed, planning to have cereal for breakfast. You find that you’re out of cereal and have to make a quick drive to a nearby convenience store to buy some more. You bicker with him over which cereal brands are superior to the other (Taeyang is a faithful Frosted Flakes consumer) before settling on two and purchasing them at the cash register. 

You’ve become more comfortable with Taeyang again, but it’s a different sense of familiarity this time. You know that college and work and other preoccupations would keep you apart, but no matter how long you’re gone, you can always return to him and pick up where you left off. Neither of you are perfect—no, far from it—but Taeyang has remained your constant, willing to weather every high and low by your side, or at least as close as he can get.

And that’s all that matters to you. Nothing more than that. 


End file.
